Stress

It’s very stressful being poor. Everyone has money concerns no matter how much money you have. It seems to be that the more money you get, the more bills you begin to collect and the stress never seems to fade. But when you are completely reliant on others, it makes even deciding to buy an ice cream cone for you kids a big deal.
I’m apparently not handling my stress well these days. My hair is falling out and I feel more exhausted with each passing day. I know that there are a lot of moms out there that work, but in addition to watching my own children full-time, I’m now freelance writing and watching two other children. It’s great, don’t get me wrong. It’s perfect for me to be able to watch my kids and bring in extra money, it’s totally what I had been looking for. Still, I have to prepare and clean up after three meals a day plus snacks, wash laundry at least every other day, make sure the kids are safe and entertained and keep the house clean. I was sick the other day and my husband kept telling me to rest. If I rest, I get behind and then it’s even more stressful for me. Some moms say that I should  not mind so much if my house gets messy. But, it’s one thing if I let my kids crawl around in filth, and it’s a whole other thing to let my house get dirty when I have other people’s kids coming over here to be cared for.
So I’m not dealing well with my stressful situation, and I feel like a complete spoiled brat because of it. I know that I’m lucky and could be dealing with much, much worse! I have two friends with children with cancer. They have to deal with keeping their kids safe and clean on a whole different level. Laundry loads for them are more than doubled because of the vomiting incidents and other digestive woes. Preparing meals for a picky child takes on a whole knew meaning when your baby’s taste buds have been destroyed by chemotherapy. And while a child with strep throat might bring out the worrywart in any momma, for the mother of a child with cancer it becomes whole new level of fear and ER visits.
So how do these mothers even function when their lives have been turned upside down? I have a theory. I think that we are like cups. Those cups can be filled with stress and we will feel the stress depending on how full our cups are. But those cups can only handle so much. When stress gets to a certain point, the cup just overflows, like a safety valve. We only feel it to a certain degree an then it’s like everything just flows on by. I think it’s the only way a a mother can be expected to do everything a mother is expected to do in a normal situation, not to mention something extraordinary like caring for a child with a serious illness.
Regardless of how they do it, every mother who sits through the hours of chemo, waiting to clean their child after the inevitable nausea, every mother who learns the ins and outs of cleaning an amputated limb or surgery site, every mother who comforts their child as the nurse pokes and prods one more time, is my hero.
This month is childhood cancer awareness month. I know I complain about my situation, but trust me — I am fully aware of how good my life is. I have two beautiful, sweet and HEALTHY children. I hope everyone who has the joyous luxury of having a healthy child takes a moment to think about how good they have it too.