It Takes a Village

It’s funny, the last apartments we lived in had the name “Village” in them, but it was anything but a village. It was frustrating because there were kids there, but they were all kind of savages, and I really didn’t want my kids interacting with them. I admit that I’m a snob about the company my kids keep. It’s not a matter of rich or poor, but I can’t stand it when parents don’t keep their kids in line. Most of the people there were single parents or divorced. The little boys would come up to my kids and take their toys and when I would try to get them back, they would act like I was stealing from them or something. And their parents would just sit at the pool, turning their highly exposed flabby skin into leather, drink cheap beer and flirt with each other. Sometimes they would let their little toddlers hang out in the pool by themselves, and when they got into trouble, as any young child who can’t swim might, my husband and I were the ones to take care of them.
The phrase “It takes a village to raise a child,” has always bothered me because that’s not how our society is set up. I would have never let my kids roam around in the “village” that was our former apartment complex. I didn’t know or trust the people who lived there.
But things have changed. We now live in student housing called The University Village. Suddenly, “it takes a village” makes sense to me. Everyone who lives in the student housing is poor, at least for now. But, we all have aspirations to one day not be poor, which is why we are here in the first place. I like to joke that I live in the housing projects for people getting phDs. It goes to prove that just because you are poor does not mean you have to be low class.
One of the reasons we decided for my husband to go back to school was because we were tired of living in apartment complexes. Most of the people there had jobs and were basically getting by. They were, for the most part, middle class. But socially speaking, they were very low class. Now, we live in a place where everyone has substantially less in terms of money, but they are good people who are sacrificing today to have a better future for their children.
The little girl next door knocked on our door the other day and asked my son to come out and play. I was happy to open the door and let him out. It truly is like a village here, where all the parents know each other and the kids do to. If I need someone to watch my kids, I have people I know and trust here that can help me.
It’s sad to me that most neighborhoods, even the high class ones with the nice houses, are not like this anymore. People in our society are choosing to have either no kids or just one or two. They are choosing this because people just don’t have the money for big families anymore. The whole idea of the neighborhood kids is disappearing. If you have the money to live in a nice place, likely both parents work and the kids are in daycare most of the day. They really don’t have time to get to know the neighborhood kids, so they just sit at home all day and watch tv.
I feel truly blessed to live where I do. Yes, it’s roach infested and the airconditioners are so nasty that my allergies have gone nuts, but for once in our lives we live in a true “village.” I just hope when we finally “make it” and are able to afford a home, we can find a neighborhood where our kids can have friends. Or, I hope we have enough money that I can afford more kids and we can make our own friends at home :-)